The Break-Up

As much the hopeless romantic I am (I think because I'm a girl), my Capricorn brain tells me that love is always relative. That means that it is what it is or it ain’t what it ain’t, especially when it comes to relationships. Now when most people speak on love and relationships you think
boy/girl friend or marriage. I'm talking about friendships and family as well. These are the first and, most often, the longest relationships a person has in their lifetime. They create bonds in one’s childhood that groom them for adulthood. Good, bad, or indifferent; sometimes being loyal to one’s detriment. It’s crazy, because in a dysfunctional intimate relationship, everybody and they mama want to tell you just how much better you are than the other person and how you deserve better. How you should get away or how the other party is bringing you down. However, in a friendship, it’s just the opposite. No one tells you not to be friends with a person anymore. Unless a total trust violation occurs (Example: Sleeping with ones mate). You are kind of expected to stay BFF’s for life. No matter where your life takes you, what happens, or how dysfunctional the friendship becomes; you just except that it’s just the way it is and has been regardless if it’s right or not.

I'm a strong believer that a friendship, just as any other relationship, sometimes runs its course; then it’s time to break up. Friendships don't have to last forever. Could you imagine still being with the person, you thought was so perfect in high school, now that you are in your 30s? Even after the trials and tribulations of being an adult have taking over them? Come on! I broke up with a friend once, (OK Twice! There goes that hopeless romantic again. Thinking I was maybe wrong! NOPE!), and all the drama they came with; all the crying, all the bullshit that just always seem to happen to them, and all the "why does this always only happen to me?’s. Guess what? It went away! They were toxic and frankly a headache. The good times became less about us, and more one sided. I wasn't able to share those happy times I was having with them in fear that I was going to be accused of throwing what I was doing in their face. Bottom line, it’s ok to break up a friendship. People grow. Not necessarily in the same direction. I don't judge anyone on how they live their life. It’s just when it comes to someone else's life infringes on your life, not in a positive way, it’s time to move on. There's a saying that if you’re the smartest person in your group, then you need a new group. I was in a meeting today and every person there brought something new, fresh, positive and creative to the table. It was amazing. It makes my decision to get rid of toxic people that much more valid.

I get every day is not a good one and we need great friends around us to help us threw the bad times that are bound to happen to us all; But when you began to bring on the bad yourself, it stops being a friendship and becomes a co-dependency. That's NEVER a healthy relationship Or Friendship!